Sadha woke up as usual at 4 Am. It was a habit he had religiously
developed in the last few years. He came to know from the Hindu scripture
that the period between 4 am and 6 am was filled with positive
spiritual energies and therefore ideal for
meditation and spiritual contemplation. From then on, Sadha woke up to a
3:30 am alarm. He was not an easy riser, needing to just lie around lazily
before he really woke up. So he set the alarm for 3.30 am and got out of
bed at 4.
It was hard in the beginning, and he often rolled over and went back to
sleep. He persevered, however, and slowly the plan became a routine.
This day too he got out of the bed at 4 and did his initial
yoga postures. The
yoga loosened his body muscles, giving his
body a general wakeup call. It always worked. Ten minutes he finished his
stretches he was energetic and ready for the day.
He
had begun to understand that the body was of extreme importance for the
spiritual journey. It was the vehicle in which he the individual lived and
it was the vehicle in which his true inner personality lived and it was
also the abode of the soul. That was the belief system to which he
subscribed these days. He did so with reason and Logic and considered that
to be the scientific reality of human existence.
He believed that the “I”, the individuality of every person, was
transitory and impermanent and did not have an infinite existence, his
true inner personality and the soul. The inner personality he believed was
his true individuality and it owed its existence to the soul within him.
The soul he considered as a clone of the ultimate consciousness, the God
of religion. This he understood to be the reason why in the Hindu
scriptures it was stated “Thou art That”, “That” being what Hinduism
called the ultimate consciousness, “Brahman.”
Sadha took Christ's statement that “The Kingdom of heaven is within
you...” to mean the same thing. The soul played no part in the experiences
of the individual, but simply existed as the witness. The inner
personality of the individual, he believed, mimicked the ego or the “I” of
the individual, until the removal of such an illusion. As long as the true
inner individuality was unknown, the illusory “I” revealed the world to
the inner personality. That revelation of the world came to the inner
individual through the eyes, touch, heart and brain. From birth to death
in most humans the “I” (with a name and history) dictated what reality
was.
Death was the end of the physical body. The “I” with the name and form
and a history of relationships and experiences ceased to exist once the
individual died. Sadha believed that the true inner personality left the
body at death occurred, along with the soul within and all past actions
(Karma) carried within it. Thus it went on to its next episode in the
drama of (cyclical) birth and death. Karma decided the direction of future
births for that inner being. Such was Sadha’s current understanding of
human existence.
It was necessary to sort out these things in order to understand how he
should direct his thinking. He was convinced he should direct his thinking
towards the inner personality, but until that personality truly became
him, he would use the “I” to awaken the inner being within him. He did
everything with that in mind; his thought focused towards awakening the
inner being. To think, act, eat, deal with the world and other necessities
such as yoga, meditation, religious ritualism, etc, with only that in
mind. He had to do everything based on what was favorable for the inner
being’s awakening. Thus, life today for Sadha was living for his inner
personality. It was a form of schizoid existence, but it did not disturb
his existence in terms of practicality. Only he was responsible for that
inner being, and as for the external world it was the “I”, the individual
by the name “Sadha” that he still projected.
Sadha was single and today he did not have a sexual partner and for many
years he had no sexual relationships. This being so, he could not confirm
to himself whether this kind of a spiritual journey was possible for a
married man or a person with a permanent sexual partner, let alone a man
with children. Sadha was unsure whether such people could follow this
path. He thought it must be difficult, because history revealed that most
of those who followed this path very seriously were recluses and single.
The fact that he had a very normal life and relationships with colleagues,
friends, siblings and relatives made him believe at times that it was
possible. Of course an individual need not reveal his
true spirituality even to his partner, but
the home environment needed to be conducive to the spiritual seeking of
that individual. It is here that Sadha began to doubt. What if a partner
was a disturbance to the spiritual search of the individual? Did he then
leave everything behind and become a recluse?
There was also another dilemma. What if seeking such created moods and
altered states of mind made interaction with people impossible?
In the traditional India that he grew up in and visited frequently, he
did see the possibility of such serious spiritual seeking for a married
man, with a family. The traditional woman, not just in India, but in any
culture was molded by evolutionary design to be a perfect partner to the
male of the species and this made it possible for the male to play his
traditional role properly. For example in tribal cultures most of the
shamans were married men with family. Still they practiced very serious
mystical religion, going into trances and using mind altering substances.
In spite of this they lived normal family lives with hardly any conflict.
However, such conflicts were not absent within civilized societies
regarding a married man's search for serious spirituality. There were many
reasons for this; the partner becoming agitated and concerned about such
serious spiritual seeking or the searcher becoming too engrossed in the
search and neglecting the family. In Sadha's opinion, even though it was
possible for a married man to seek serious spirituality, it was easier for
a single man.
In
traditional Indian culture, the women very rarely ventured into serious
spiritual seeking, but this did not mean that there were no traditional
women who were deeply involved in spirituality. On the contrary, there
were many such women. They seemed to have the capability to balance both
family responsibilities and the search for spirituality. The female
members of Sadha's family were good examples, including and especially his
mother, and maternal and paternal grandmothers. His father and his
grandfathers practiced their spiritual seeking with seriousness and
earnestness and his mother and grandmothers provided the necessary
support. As they aged his mother and grandmothers became more and more
involved in the search. Of course in such family oriented spiritual
seeking it was mostly ritualistic religion that was practiced, but there
was also meditation involved in such practices.
Based on all this Sadha had come to the conclusion that it was possible to
seek serious spirituality as a married individual, provided the partner
was accommodating to such seeking and gave the necessary support. He was
also convinced that it was easier for a single person than a married man,
but again, the married man had the opportunity to check his spiritual
progress by observing the ways he reacted with the world around him,
whereas the single man, living in isolation and as a recluse in regard to
intimate human relationships, could evolve without such testing of his
mental state and live in superficial belief that his mind was under
control and in tranquility. Such a mind, if put to test could prove weak,
filled with inner conflicts and all kinds of subdued negative mental
traits. Such negativism could surface when confronted with relationships
and human interactions. There were advantages and disadvantages in both
approaches, but Sadha was happy with his present single state.
He
acknowledged the fact that among the hippie generation that he grew up
with during his involvement with the Counter Culture, there were partners
evolving who were somewhat like the male-female spiritual partners
described in mythologies and in the scriptures, living in spiritual
hermitages, with children, but living only for the seeking of the
spiritual. Sadha saw such partnerships emerging even among the followers
of New Age and the Wicca religion.
Sadha’s morning routine, which can be even called a ritual, involved the
moving of the bowels, which to him was very important, for the start of a
good day. He believed that the bowels played a very important role in
human health and their proper natural function was of utmost important for
overall good health. Sadha believed that humans should empty the bowels
once in the Moring and be done with it. He did notice that the one
function that could go wrong in otherwise healthy humans and did so
frequently was the bowel movement.
Malfunction of the digestive system involving the stomach and the
intestines was very common among humans. Sadha solved this problem for
himself by following very strict food habits and yoga practices and
regular walking, etc. He drank adequate amount of water throughout the
day, drinking the maximum before noon, as his father had recommended, and
never over ate. He always ate high fiber food and many vegetables, which
was not onerous to him since he was a vegetarian.
Today his bowels worked perfectly and he was able to empty them before
taking the bath, and such emptying was a complete one for the day. That to
him was an achievement, and Sadha considered any malfunction regarding his
bowel movement a failure of his spiritual search itself.
He
believed that once such seeking was on the right path, the body worked in
perfect harmony and all organs functioned in their natural perfectness, as
they were meant to. Such workings of the inner organs and the body needed
human help regarding lifestyle, involving food habits, exercise and a
relaxed simple lifestyle while maintaining a calm, tranquil and happy
mind. Lately Sadha had added unconditional love
to these requirements and therefore did not indulge in any angry or
harshly critical thinking towards any person or any subject that he was
exposed to. Whether it was human relationships or interactions with
others, Sadha did not allow anger, frustration or harsh criticism to arise
in his mind. Even in regard to what we would consider as evil, Sadha
resorted to calm understanding of the situation and used the necessary
mental and other disciplines to avoid such evil, without involving any
anger or frustration or violent thoughts in regard to such avoidance, Even
if he opposed such behavior among those he interacted with, he did so
calmly and in a tranquil manner.
There was
only one purpose for all this discipline as far as Sadha was concerned. He
was of the opinion that the serious spiritual seeker, once firmly on the
path, should not fall ill and his body and organs should function in
natural perfectness, as they were designed to. He also believed that the
mind of such a person should be naturally perfect regarding the ideal
model required. It should not take any effort to be so and should occur
instinctively as the person’s very natural state of mind. He came to this
conclusion mainly after reading a hymn sung by the Tamil saint
Thirunavukarsar. Thirunavukarasar (திருநாவுக்கரசர்)
lived in seventh century AD and once the king summoned him to the court to
be questioned over certain accusations that his enemies had levied against
him. When the guards came to summon him, he sang this hymn and asked the
guards to convey it to the king:
He
used the word “we” to denote those who, like himself, were on the
spiritual path.
We are the subject of no kingdom
We fear no death
We will not suffer the pangs of
hell
We will not cheat (be unethical)
We will not suffer any disease
And we will not bow down to
tyranny.
This hymn convinced Sadha that once the spiritual seeker was firmly on the
path, all such things fell into place, even without any effort from the
seeker. He believed that a natural and spiritual lifestyle could prevent
disease permanently and this hymn confirmed it. He considered as spiritual
political statements, “We are the subject of no kingdom,” and “We
will not bow down to tyranny,” both of which were contemporary to the
liberal and progressive politics that he professed. He considered serious
spirituality as being related to progressive politics and that without
serious spirituality, such progressive politics would not manifest itself
fully and be ineffective against the evil it was supposed to oppose.
Today Sadha experienced good health and his lifestyle emphasized his
spiritual practices.
He was convinced that the scriptures spoke the truth. He understood
that it was not necessary to be a "self-realized" person in order to enjoy
those benefits promised in the scriptures and by those who had walked this
path and succeeded. . Just taking the basic steps towards the goal of
seeking self-realization brought such benefits. |